You don't want me as your navigational guide.

Remember last week when I told you of the wedding I had to go to in Louisville the day of our Final Four game against Louisville?! Well...it was quite an experience, let me tell ya! For future reference, you don't want me to be your directional guide, or for that matter, you don't want my GPS as a guide either!

I got off work at 7:30 AM Saturday morning, had my bags packed in the car, clocked out and drove straight to Louisville. I got to my grandparents house in record time. There was ZERO traffic and no police on the road {they had more important places to be on this day...downtown LEX and LOU} so I kicked the speed up to mid-80s. My grandmother had scrambled eggs and toast for me. I ate it and talked to my grandparents for about 10-15 minutes then headed to bed. I only slept 4 hours. And if you know me, you know I sleep A LOT, and need it to function. So, I got ready and then typed in the address to the church. The wedding was at 4:30pm.

Granddaddy and I. He's in his UK shirt!

I'm heading downtown and listen to Ms. GPS European accent telling me where to turn. There is a portion of the road where the church was that is walking only--4th St for those familiar with downtown Louisville. I obviously couldn't park there, so I had to find an alternate street/garage. I circled a few times looking for street parking and kept hearing,"Recalculating, Recalculating." Then she says,"turn RIGHT on 5th St." As soon as I turned right, i realized cars were coming TOWARDS me! A biker looked hysterical and motioned for me to turn around! Luckily I had room, and made a U-y. She's now not so trustworthy!

By now it was 4:15. I was stressing because I like to be "on-time" per etiquette to weddings 30 minutes early. So, I just parked at the next spot and decided to start walking in my high heels! I walked all the way around the block looking for the address 321. I started at 300 and the block ended at 400. And there was NO church. Just the bar district. I had on my UK BLUE dress and was by myself in the crowd of red. Luckily, no one heckled me! I guess I had on my, "I mean biz, don't mess with me" face!

Just before I got back to my car one of my earrings fell out, I stepped on it, and broke it. Not a good day.

I got back to the car and looked at the invitation again. I. COULD.HAVE.DIED. The address was 821, not 321. So much for my glasses helping my eye-sight. Or the print was just too small! I headed that way, but it was already 5:00. I wasn't going to walk into a service that was almost over, so I decided to just go drop off the gift at the reception hall and come home. She was having a cocktail hour after the wedding before the reception started {so they could take pictures} So, I would've had to wait a while to see her.

After all that effort to get there, stress about the rival fans, not getting there on time, and my favorite earring breaking, I was devastated. I cried in the car on my way home. I hope Shea didn't notice or will find this story funny, one day.

One positive thing...at least I didn't fall in my high heels in front of all those drunk people!

I used to think I had a pretty good sense of direction, "used to" being key words. 

how are we going to pay the toll?!

Ok! Finally, some time to tell you a {now} funny story of our trip!

When Sarah and I had hit the road early Friday morning to leave for our cruise, we had a 16 hour drive ahead of us! We packed the car, stocked up with snacks and were energized by adrenaline as neither of us had slept but two or three hours because we were so excited to head to warm weather and the beach! {and I was up late packing because I'm famous for procrastinating!} We alternated driving every few hours and made it all day! We stopped for the night about two hours outside of Miami {port of call} because it was Spring Break week and we didn't book a hotel room and we didn't want to sleep in the car, so we thought this was our best bet for a room!

After a fabulous {ok} night's rest in a 4-star luxury resort {side of the road hotel} we woke up in time to primp and make the short two hour leg we had left and walked out to sunshine and 70 degree weather! We planned to arrive in Miami in time to watch the UK vs UVA game, then board the ship. Priorities!

The night of my procrastination the last thing I had put off on my "To Do" list was painting my nails. It was 3am and I tried to accomplish this task. I started with my toes, and then my hands. Well, I was so tired I didn't finish. I left one hand untouched. So, in the car, I decided I had to finish painting them. No one can walk on a cruise ship with five painted finger nails and five unpainted finger nails!

So, Sarah was driving, with the Garmin on for navigation and I propped up a pillow on my lap and went to town on my unpainted nails. {Mind you, I was also painting with my non-dominant hand, in a moving vehicle, this could have been a disaster. Luckily, they didn't turn out so bad. Not salon perfection, but not terrible}

I maybe had two nails with wet "Peep Show" shine on and I hear Sarah start asking me what she should do and the car slowing down. {Note: We were driving through an area of Florida with a lot of tolls and the left 5 lanes are the "SunPass" lanes for those who drive the roads daily. They can just drive on through with no stopping or paying because they have the pre-paid SunPass.}

I don't really remember what she said exactly, but I just remember looking up and seeing road signs to the left, to the right, and straight in front of us that said,

"DO NOT STOP"

She stopped the car in the far left lane and cars were passing us honking. Then a police car drove up behind us and turned his siren and lights on as if he were pulling us over. No need sir, we were already stopped! He gets out and comes to the window. 

Here is how the convo went {to the best of my memory, or something like it} 

imagine a northern accent from our *friendly cop

COP: "Ma'am what are you doing stopped on the highway? Do you have some sort of car trouble?"

Sarah: "No, sir. We accidentally got in the wrong lane and we don't mean to drive through the toll without paying, or get fined. We really do want to pay the toll. We aren't trying to break the law." 

COP: interrupting us "YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF WAY. YOU ARE GOING TO GET YOURSELVES KILLED AND YOUR CAR TOTALED. AND I'M GOING TO GET KILLED. IT IS NOT A GOOD IDEAR TO STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD."

Sarah: "But sir, how do we pay the toll?"

COP: "YOU NEED TO JUST GET GOING"

Then he turned and walked back to his car.

So, we started driving again and still had our question unanswered. How are we going to pay the toll? At the next toll we came to we asked the booth worker and they were so kind and explained what we needed to do to pay the missed toll. Why can't everyone be that nice!? There was no need for that cop to be so rude to us! But, looking back, it wasn't a great idea to stop in the road. It is quite hilarious now, especially him saying IDEAR...

Traveling makes for good stories!