mean girls

Last week I received the meanest email of my life. I've never had so many harsh words said to me ever in my life. I didn't know what to do. I think I even went into a mini-depression. I've never experienced real clinical depression, so I don't know what it's like, but from studying it in school, and seeing real symptoms in other people, I think I manifested a few of the classic symptoms! 


My symptoms:
Random Crying
Besides just at home, or in the car, some friends and I were out in public for a birthday dinner and I was still letting the NASTY-GRAM get to me {2 days later.} I was not in the peppiest mood, as I should have been-it's a birthday celebration for Heaven's sake! I tried to put on my smile and hold back the tears. My therapist {my Bestie CAF} had to put on her therapist cap once again and talk me through my moment. 


Staying in bed all day/sleeping
It was September 1-2, hot sunny days! I slept most of Thursday because I worked Wednesday night, and usually I am up all night, but this time I went right back to sleep about 9pm and slept all night. My mom called me Friday to see if I wanted to go to the pool {one of the last open pool days.} Usually I would've bounded out of bed and put on my suit...but I said no and...you guessed it, I went back to sleep until 4pm. So add it up and it's about 27 hours of sleep in a 30 hour time period. I sleep a lot, but not that much!


Letting it consume all my thoughts
Since the minute I opened the email, I quickly allowed myself to believe the words in the email were true. I had to go to work the night I received the nasty-gram and I wasn't busy at all. You may have seen my tweet hoping I was busy. Sadly, I wasn't. So, there were 12 lonnnggg hours for me to mull over the harsh words. And again there was the dinner where I let it bother me in public and around strangers.


After the B-day dinner I randomly ran into the sender of the nasty-gram downtown {which I think was designed by the Big Guy upstairs because I rarely/never see this girl out downtown.} Well, we exchanged an odd smirk, and went on our way, and then met again later. TWO TIMES IN ONE NIGHT!? This night just had to be designed so we would talk. Long story short, we discussed the reason for the nasty-gram and she apologized for sending it. I hope her apology was sincere. 


I consider myself a nice person and have never had any issues with girls. Being nice just makes the world a better place to live in. Why be mean? I tend to be even-keeled about a lot of issues. I like the "no-drama" mantra. What's the point? It just makes things more stressful and that's not a way to live. I saw two tweets this week that are 100% relevant and came through my feed at exactly the time this was happening...

I don't believe or pay too much attention to astrology, just think it's fun to see how accurate or off it can be. However, this one seemed to accurately describe me.


Thankfully I had a great therapist who told me this person was out of line and the words were the farthest thing from the truth, and many more positive things :) Although I appreciate wholeheartedly all the supportive words and reinforcement of my personality and character, it still didn't help 100% pull me out of my slump. The apology from the sender helped the rest of the way. I guess I needed to hear it from her and know she didn't mean what she said at all.


I'm also thankful for the "I've-got-your-back" friend who was there to be on my defense/strong side and show toughness for me. And to whip out a kick or a right-hook...or more if need be! A kiss on the cheek also helped! {remember that? haha}

Thank God for friends to be therapists and your defensive-line and anything else you need them to be to pull you out of a slump.